"Sometimes when you lose, you win."
It's a line from a Robin Williams movie. I miss him.....
What does that line have to do with today's post you ask? When the journey to Holland beings, all too often we feel like either we have lost or our child(ren) have. Lost in this case could mean many things. Lost the dreams we had, lost the ability to do things and more. We feel like our world has fallen apart and crashed on us.
Yet did we really lose? There are days when it sure feels that way..... Yet look at all the blessings our gems give us? They may not shine under the same light as others do but I think with the light they have, they shine brighter. The light for 'typical' children isn't better or worse but it's different. I don't see special needs children as better or worse off. Medically sometimes yes, as unfortunately that can be reality but yet they are also the strongest warriors. Yet as many parents including myself would say, we aren't stronger or better then other parents either, it's just that when you are flung into this journey, you have no choice but to push forward. Help from friends and family and even strangers helps a lot though. A LOT.
"It takes a very special person to care for children with special needs. God gives them to people who will love them no matter what." One of my favorite nurses, Anita told me this the other day. It took me a long time to really, truly accept this. Yet I think she's right.
I also teased her and a few other friends by posting this: "Let it be known that I am the least miss plan-it with type A tendencies. I also do not worry about anything whatsoever and I do not have any control tendencies."
Those that know me, know that I am full of it on that one. lol Yet the struggle is real. It has benefits yet also curses. The hardest part for me is knowing the difference sometimes...
Trust is my hardest one. Trusting anyone other then myself and even then sometimes I don't. As my son's surgery approaches, that is one storm that is already rolling in. Blood checks and shots start this coming week to bring on more blood into my son's little body so he will deal with the surgery better on that aspect. Yet as I have done before, we will get through this. I have to be the mean momma and hold him down but I thank God that he's too young to remember. My daughter however is not as she will bear witness this time to what she had to deal with at about his same age.
Even through my daughter has been through this before, more then once, her eyes will be opened to a whole new perspective as now being the sibling. May my children help each other through this journey they have and may I be the rock they need. Most of all, may my husband and I rely on our Rock, to lead and guide us.
So did we really lose? I don't think so. It's no cakewalk by any means but the blessings outweigh the bad. May I remember that on the bad days too.
My storm: This coming week begins summer officially and it's already looking to be a crazy one...
My rainbow: Blessings in unexpected places.
Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~
