Tea Cup and Thorns

Today I am going to share two of my favorite, inspiring stories. I cherish both of these. I hope they touch you as well.

An American couple went to England to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary.  They loved antiques, pottery and china. In a little China Shoppe, they both singled out a beautiful tea cup on the top shelf. “May I see that?” He said, “I’ve never seen a tea cup like it, it’s beautiful.” But suddenly the tea cup spoke, “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I haven’t always been a tea cup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over. And I yelled out, “Let me alone!” But He only smiled and said, “Not yet.”
“Then I was placed on a spinning wheel,” The tea cup said, “and I was spun round and round and round. “Stop it, I’m getting dizzy.” The master only nodded and said, “Not yet.”
 “Then he put me in an oven. I’ve never felt such heat. I wondered why He wanted to burn me and I yelled. I knocked at the door, I could see Him through the opening and I could read his lips as He shook his head and said, “Not yet.” Finally the door did open, “Whee!” I said, and he put me on a shelf and I began to cool. “There, that’s better”, I said.
Suddenly He brushed me and painted me all over and the fumes were horrible and I began to gag. “Stop it, stop it!” I cried. He only nodded and smiled, “Not yet.” And suddenly He put me back in the oven, twice as hot as the first one and I knew I was going to suffocate. I begged and I pleaded and I screamed and I cried. All the time I could see Him through the door, shaking His head and saying, “Not yet.”
Then I knew that there was no hope and I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened, He took me out and placed me on a shelf. An hour later He handed me a mirror and said, “Look at yourself,” and I did, and I said, “That’s not me, that couldn’t be me, why that’s beautiful.”
“I want you to remember,” He said then, “I know it hurt to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you, you would have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on a wheel but if I had stopped you, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn’t put you there you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I painted you, but you see, if I hadn’t done that you would never have hardened and there would have been no color to your life. And if I hadn’t put you back in that second oven, you would not have survived very long and the hardness would not have held. Now, you are a finished product, you are what I had in mind when I first began with you.”

In Phil. 1:6 it says, ‘I am confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus’

    Where are you in God’s perfect plan for your life?

    Written by: Unknown

The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the Potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds, that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect Will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to 'stink', try this.

Thorns

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door.

Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. Had she lost a child? No! She has no idea what I'm feeling, thought Sandra with a shudder. Thanksgiving? Thankful for what? she wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The flower shop clerk's approach startled her. "Sorry," said Jenny, "I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you."

"I....I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra.

"For Thanksgiving?" Sandra nodded.

"Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving Special." Jenny saw Sandra's curiosity and continued. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories, that each arrangement insinuates a particular feeling. Are you looking for something that conveys gratitude this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted. "Sorry, but in the last five months, everything that could go wrong has." Sandra regretted her outburst but was surprised when Jenny said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

The door's small bell suddenly rang. "Barbara! Hi, let me get your order," Jenny said. She politely excused herself from Sandra and walked toward a small workroom. She quickly reappeared carrying a massive arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Only, the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped, no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" Jenny asked.

Sandra watched for Barbara's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems and no flowers! She waited for laughter, for someone to notice the absence of flowers atop the thorny stems, but neither woman did.

"Yes, please. It's exquisite," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I'd not be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again." She gently tapped her chest. "My family will love this one. Thanks."

Sandra stared. Why so normal a conversation about so strange an arrangement? she wondered. "Uh," said Sandra, pointing. "That lady just left, it, uhm...uh.."

"Yes?"

"Well, you gave her no flowers!"

"Right, I cut off the flowers."

"Cut them off?"

"Off. Yep. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"I just cannot believe people would pay for that!" In spite of herself she chuckled.

"Do you really want to know why?"

"I couldn't leave this shop without knowing. I'd think of nothing else!"

"That might be good," mused Jenny. "Well," she continued, "Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today. She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she faced major surgery."

"Ooooh!" murmured Sandra.

"That same year, I had lost my husband," Jenny went on. "I assumed complete responsibility for the shop and for the first time, spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"What did you do?"

"I learned to be thankful for thorns."

Sandra's eyebrows lifted. "Thorns?"

"I'm a Christian, Sandra. I've always thanked God for good things in life and I never thought to ask Him why good things happened to me, but, when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time to learn that dark times are important. I always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

She started to ask Jenny to "go on" when the door's bell diverted their attention. "Hey, Phil!" shouted Jenny as a balding, rotund man entered the shop. She softly touched Sandra's arm and moved to welcome him. He tucked her under his side for a warm hug.

"I'm here for twelve thorny long-stemmed stems!" Phil laughed, heartily.

"I figured as much," said Jenny, "and I've got them ready." She lifted a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerated cabinet.

"Beautiful," exclaimed Phil. "My wife will love them!"

Sandra could not resist asking. "These are for your wife? Do you mind me asking, why thorns?"

"In fact, I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's guidance, we slogged through, problem by rotten problem. He rescued our marriage-our love, really. Last year at Thanksgiving I stopped in here for flowers. I must have mentioned surviving a tough process because Jenny told me that for a long time she kept a vase of rose stems---stems!---as a reminder of what she learned from "thorny" times. That was good enough for me. I took home stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific thorny situation and give thanks for what the problem taught us."

Phil paid Jenny, thanked her again and as he left, said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful yet for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to Jenny. "It is still...too fresh."

"Well," Jenny replied carefully, "my experience says that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Do not resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please." she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," Jenny said. "I'll have them ready in a minute. Then, every time you see them, remember to appreciate both good and hard times. We grow through both."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow our Lord to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me." Jenny smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach a card like this to your arrangement but maybe you'd like to read it first."

It said:

"My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorns! I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear, teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbow."

Jenny said, "Happy Thanksgiving, Sandra," handing her the Special. "I look forward to our knowing each other better."

Sandra smiled. She turned, opened the door and walked toward hope.
-George Matheson

To me, the moral of both stories is that life overall is honest to God tough. Dare I say, HELL sometimes.... I struggle so often with some days sometimes.... My children have big appointments coming up in Dallas soon and I keep telling myself that it's just checkups and routine stuff. I have done this with my daughter countless times and I should be able to do it with my son without worry, right? RRRIIGGHHTT....... I find myself not being able to shut my brain up..... I want the full schedule already, I want to know what the MRI on both kids will show. I want to know especially what the neurosurgeon will say....

Some days are really good, other days are not. The days my daughter is in pain from yet another headache are some of the bad ones. Yet it also makes me wonder what my son will have to endure as well.

Sometimes it's hard to not blame either myself for "giving" them this crap or even feeling like I'm not doing enough to "fix" it or at least fight for them hard and long enough...... "I may not be out of the dark yet. I may not be standing in full sunshine. But the moon has risen in the dark, and it’s full, and it’s bright, and I can imagine the sunlight on the horizon. For now, that’s enough."
Quoted from HERE

I couldn't leave without sharing some lyrics to a new album that I should have by Monday. Those who read on Caringbridge know I post links all the time for songs that get stuck in my head.....

Yours Again by RED

I can almost feel You breathing
Like a whisper in my ear
I remember how You lost me
Or how I lost You
I stare into the blackness
It's staring back at me
Why did I try to live without You?
I want You
I need You

Open up my eyes
I need Your light again
Burning me inside
I need Your love again
I can feel our hearts collide
I can feel our hearts ignite
Open up my eyes
I'm Yours again

Will I wake up from this moment?
Will I see You slip away?
Or is this a new beginning?
Of beauty and rage?
Where did I lose my passion?
Where did I stop to fade?
Without You my world is darkness
I won't let go again

Open up my eyes
I need Your light again
Burning me inside
I need Your love again
I can feel our hearts collide
I can feel our hearts ignite
Open up my eyes
I'm Yours again

I'm Yours again

I'm never letting go

I'm Yours again

Open up my eyes
I need Your light again
Burning me inside
I need Your love again
I can feel our hearts collide
I can feel our hearts ignite
Open up my eyes
I'm Yours again 


Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Walking in the night

 "Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern, just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer. And like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience; a room in hell with only your name on the door."
~ Martha Manning ~

"I may not be out of the dark yet. I may not be standing in full sunshine. But the moon has risen in the dark, and it’s full, and it’s bright, and I can imagine the sunlight on the horizon. For now, that’s enough."
Quoted from HERE
 
Night is the most silent time. You hear absolutely nothing, except the normal tinnitus in your ears, it's silent. Silence..... Actions speak louder then words but silence often is the loudest thing of all.

 Acceptance is seeing with your heart, not with your eyes.
~Unknown ~


I wrote the following on my Facebook page.

It's like we belong in the special needs/craniofacial community yet we don't. It's like we are in this gray. We seem to belong in neither group yet we are far from a typical family either.
Just thoughts running in my head again..... Wishing my daughter had friends who would visit with her in Dallas who knows her battle scars. Yet her battle scars are few compared to many others in the craniofacial community. So few relate to any of this journey here.....
Black and white doesn't exist. Only gray.

Too often I just feel out of place yet in place.... Make any sense? It's like I relate more to Facebook then anywhere else. Crazy but honest....

One response I got back was "Each of us have experiences and love for the special needs communities and yet at the same time lack so much information depending on the degree and/or severity of the disability. The special needs world is filled with rainbow colors, a beautiful landscaping and environments, and amazing opportunities, but this also causes shadows on the ground (or gray areas) too. Just know you belong to something greater, even if we don't all always speak the same special needs language" This came from a friend who has a sister that had severe disabilities but now that she is in heaven, she is in a perfect body now.

What a way to describe Holland!

Yesterday my son had a minor surgery done. I call it a procedure even though it was technically surgery. He was born with a lip tie. The ENT we have for my daughter did his procedure too. It went great, no issues. We got to recovery and he was ready to nurse right away. I'll always know the gas anesthesia smell from a mile away..... His breath reeked of it. Normal. It's the same stuff used on my daughter and will be used in the future for both kids as well. Just one of many smells that always bring you back to reality sometimes. On the way home, she told him she was proud of how brave and strong he was. It took me everything not to cry..... My two living children will share a bond that not many siblings get the chance to share. My friend Celeste is right. I really do have two special gems that are rare.
"We were given not one but two children with rare disorders..... Some people do not understand our willingness to try for a second child, but they do not see nor do they comprehend the depth of true honest mothering. Two children each we have with disorders listed on the top 100 rare disorders..... Tell them we choose to see them as the gems they are, and if they would look at them as we do, they would see..... We have two rare gems, the kind gemologists find only once in a lifetime..... The kind listed on the top 100 rare and most coveted gems.... And we have two......"

Sometimes this journey is full of sunshine but often it is storms followed by rainbows. Often the rainbows are glorious to see. So is chocolate and caffeine while riding the storms out. :D

"I read a story once about a person who was walking in a field.  As they walked along they noticed all the weeds and dead grass as well as brush lying around.  Suddenly to their surprise, there, in the middle of all of that mess, was a beautiful flower.  It had bloomed out so beautifully and seemed to shine there.  The thought came to this person’s mind, Bloom where you’re planted.  It is a wonderful example for us as children of the Most High God.  Sometimes we are in places or situations where it seems hopeless and we don’t understand why God has placed us there or we don’t understand how we could possibly do anything for God there at all.  However, if we decide, that wherever we are, no matter how bleak, or sad, no matter how much of a mess is around us, no matter how dark it may be, we can purpose in our hearts to bloom where we are planted and God will honor that and use our lives for His Glory to bring others to Himself."
http://www.worldsundayschool.com/lessons/bloom.html I am reminded of the numerous times I have driven on I-40 to and from Arkansas Children's. There in the middle of the highway among the cracks, I often see weeds growing. Little soil, heat from the sun, cars all around them yet they grow. Blooming where they are planted, as should we..... Sometimes I am content with where I am, sometimes I am far from it.....

Made by Vinyl Me This for me. I created the wording and design. Angela recreated it better then I had it thought out.

"You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens."  ~ Mandy Halce ~

Imagine what my two children will accomplish though? Seriously! Despite all of the unacceptably in this world, imagine what my two could go out and do in this world with their stories? My daughter already has. Imagine what my son will do? What they can and will accomplish together.

So as each day ends and the next begins, it's time for me to go back out there, hold my head high and plow the road. May I always leave a fighting legacy for my children. May they at least know that throughout the years that we raise them, that we never gave up nor gave in. May they learn that no matter how dark the world is or even how dark some days are that they endure, to always go down fighting and always fighting to stand back up. That no matter how dark some days are, it isn't over till God has the clock stop. Or as the saying goes, "It ain't over till the fat lady sings."

Cheers!
~ Special Momma ~


http://youtu.be/XI-oz8bThIc


I can barely stand right now
Everything is crashing down
And I wonder where You are

I try to find the words to pray
I don't always know what to say
But You're the one who can hear my hear

Even though I don't know what Your plan is
I know You make beauty from these ashes

I've seen joy and I've seen pain
And on my knees I call Your name
Here's my broken Hallelujah
With nothing left to hold onto
I raise these empty hands to You
Here's my broken
Here's my broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You know the things that have brought me here
You know the story of every tear
'Cause You've been here from the very start

Even though I don't know what Your plan is
I know You make beauty from these ashes

I've seen joy and I've seen pain
And on my knees I call Your name
Here's my broken Hallelujah
With nothing left to hold onto
I raise these empty hands to You
Here's my broken
Here's my broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

When all is taken away, don't let my heart be changed
Let me always sing Hallelujah
When I feel afraid, don't let my hope be erased
Let me always sing Hallelujah

In shock....

My post tonight was going to be about something totally different then I read some news this evening that I'm going to touch on instead. I'll save the other post for later.

One of the surgeon's we knew at Arkansas Children's died today. I am not sure what happened but she knew both of my children and had we not had the team in Dallas already, she would have been the craniofacial surgeon for both of my children. She and another lady at Arkansas Children's helped to create Camp Laughter hosted at Camp Aldersgate back in 2013. It is for children and their families who deal with craniofacial abnormalities.

I just ask that you pray for her family during this time. This next summer would be the third Camp Laughter and we plan on going as we did the first two. It won't be the same without Dr. H but I know she would have wanted it to continue.

When we deal with many doctors, clinics, hospitals, etc it all starts to blend together. Camp Laughter was the one place that we could regularly afford to pull off that my daughter loved going to. It was a huge blessing to go to it the last two years. Especially since we couldn't do the Children's Craniofacial Association retreats since 2011. It's like everything and everyone in intertwined like a jigsaw puzzle. All together in the journey, it creates one picture but when a piece is missing, you can clearly tell it is. When tragedy happens, you quickly learn who all was touched by that one person. Sometimes even more so in the special needs community.....

Even though Dr. H met my children and gave medical advice to us, I knew that if we had ever lost the team we have had for years in Dallas, we would have seen her for the children. I know she genuinely loved what she did and loved her patients. I feel also for the families now displaced having to find a new surgeon. I know their hearts are broken too and they are worried now about getting their children treated.

All of this to say is to please pray for the family of Dr. H along with her friends, colleagues and patients. I hope to find out when the memorial service will be as I hope to be there to pay my respects. I truly believe many more families will be doing the same. Camp Laughter nor will the neuroscience clinic will be the same yet I hope Camp Laughter continues as well.

May you rest in peace Dr. H!





~ Special Momma ~