Midnight Moon

The sun has just set. You knew as dusk set in that midnight was coming. Midnight is the darkest time. It's when the shadows are at their biggest, noises are heard the most or when silence rings loudest. It was under a full moon that Jesus prayed alone in the garden knowing his biggest trial was at hand. He knew midnight, his death was approaching. Now, we may not be approaching death in the literal sense but how often does a small piece of us die each time we deal with trauma? When our children are in pain and we can't do anything about it? When we know they face surgery yet nothing to stop it? Justified or not, the fear, worry, sadness, insomnia, constant battles, etc. we face? If not dealt with, we eventually die inside. Dying spirituality and or emotionally is often more prolonged and painful then a physical death.

I admit I have been "ill" with spiritual and also emotional "sickness" before. We all have to one extent or another. It doesn't take long for it to fester and get to the point where you sometimes feel like a physical death would be better. During the time of midnight, wandering alone is our biggest tests of faith. The worst is the wandering alone. What will you face ahead? Tragedy, bankruptcy, divorce, etc. The list can go on..... In the journey, there is no GPS, maps or anything. You learn as you go. You learn that at times of despair and heartache that you must go on. There really isn't any other choice.

Traveling this past weekend going back home to Arkansas from Indiana, we were listening to the trial we have of XM radio. On there, one of the messages said, "You cannot worry and have faith in God too. You can't have both. Either you trust or you don't."

OUCH...... That stung me.....


"I'll never know
How much it cost
To see my sin
Upon that cross"

Luke 17:11-19
If you ask God for more then you thank him for, you have a problem.
Always have gratitude. Only one came back in that Bible story. One.
How often do we go through each day REALLY thanking God for what He has done?

The sun did rise and so did Jesus on that first Easter morning. The dawn will come for you as well. In the meantime, when it's midnight, look for the moon and the stars. Those glimmers of light are better seen the darker it is. The next time midnight and our the storm barrels at me, I will hopefully remember the words shared here. It's coming.....

We may feel like a single grain of sand inside this giant planet but each grain of sand put together, can make something beautiful out of glass when melted together.


Blessings!!

~ Special Momma ~

Christmas

I'm on my Kindle so please forgive typos. 

From where I am, it's one hour till Christmas morning. Many homes around the country will be opening presents in a matter of hours. And yet many others won't. Yet as I sit here in the dark as my family sleeps, I go back to this last year. My son arrived, bought a home, replaced my husband's car, learned of our second round with this journey. 

Yet Holland for us won't be the same as before. Similar yes but not the same. Two children to ride this journey as they both will have stories to tell. My daughter already does and yet her journey continues. 

Last night while we visited my father-in-law, she had a migraine hit. After a while, we had to hold her hair back as she puked then soon after was cold for a while. Yet through this, she prevailed and she knew that her grandpa understood where she has been. 

Sometimes I really do ask "Why my children? Why choose me to raise them?" 

Yet no matter what, I have learned that we are blessed and I know that at least our seven, nearly eight year old daughter sees it. My son is too young yet. As Christmas arrives tomorrow, I will not just be giving gifts but I will remember I already have mine, no matter what happens. 

Merry Christmas from my family to yours. Jesus is the reason for the season! 

~Special Momma ~

Waiting for Superman

Ever heard of that documentary? It's about the public school system and how it fails so many kids. I don't mean grades, I mean as people.

Yet how many of us are waiting for our Superman? Who is he? God? Your spouse, future spouse? What you envision as your "prince charming" mentality?

Yet how many times do we rely on other humans to 'save us'?

We have closed on our house a week ago. Water heater was replaced a day later. Murphy has been going since. Other expenses have come up, still to one car and now the windshield on it has a crack in it. We also have Christmas just around the corner.

I also recently had a dream that both of my children needed two different brain surgeries at the same time. My son is due for his first craniofacial one around May or June. Both children have MRI's and other appointments in March. My daughter has been sleeping more recently. Not a huge change but some. Prior to the last surgery, pretty much all she did at home after school was sleep. I'm not worried yet but my eyes are opened a little more to watching. Right now I could use a Superman.

Ever see pics of a mountain top or sky scraper and see below where the fog covers most everything below it?

This is a pic of the Dallas skyline, or what you can see of it from Mike Alvstad. Now, looking at that, can you see everything below? Can you see streets, cars, shorter buildings? No.

Now, here is the skyline at night from the Ronald McDonald House we have stayed at often...

Even here we see more skyline but not details. We get enough in life to see clues and hints as to where to go but that's about it. Like me, I'm sure what you want is details like this:

Life doesn't give us that though...... I do know this though, we all see the same moon at night. This pic was also taken at the Ronald McDonald House in Dallas.

What I have to remind myself, is even though sometimes I wish Superman (God) would save me from every trial in life, this is the same God that created everything we see. Every night that I look at the sky, I remember that no matter how dark it is, the easier it is to see light that does shine through. Even in the darkness, beauty can be found within. One of the reasons why I love the background on here. I love seeing pics of the moon at night.

The last pic I shared, the one of the moon was during our longest stay in Dallas thus far. We were there for about a month. The headaches in my daughter had been going on for about two months and we were due there anyway for checkups. In that time, we got admitted for four days of ICP testing. Then the 10 days till the follow up appointment. It was honestly less expensive to just stay then to come home and go back days later. We had several tests of faith in that time. Yet God as always prevailed.

As I sit here wrapping up this post, I am thinking to past trips, future trips and knowing that my infant son will face the same journey as my seven year old. Yet he won't. Yet then what will his journey teach him? Will it teach him to embrace the opportunities to meet other families, touch other lives and prevail despite the weight of the journey? That is what I pray for the most. That he, like my daughter will prevail. They both will take their journeys no matter the diagnoses that will likely add up over the years and prevail.

In the comics, Superman always prevailed, He was Superman after all.

 

We live by faith, not by sight. With God ALL things are possible!



Love,
~ Special Momma ~

Who we are

What were your first thoughts reading that? 

Some can use that as an excuse. "I yell at my kids because that's all I knew so I do it." Others have trust issues so it turns into a "I trust nobody so I would rather just do everything myself!"

Why are people like this then? What creates this? Everyone deals with bad in life. Yet why is it that some do better then others? How is it you get say two people who go through the exact same thing at the same time. Yet one is able to heal and move on, yet the other one, it consumes them. Is it just a matter of personality? I think sometimes it is. I'm definitely no psychologist but I think also it's how we are wired. I also think it's what we have learned over time and our interpretations of those lessons. Do we harbor bitterness and anger or do we let it roll off our backs?

So how is it that when we get told "I don't know how you do it!" some of us relish that and others get offended? Two ends of the spectrum but still there. I think it is personality but also who says it to us. Hearing my best friend say it is different then a complete stranger. Hearing a friend who I know loves my kids comment about how cute one of their heads is I take much less offense then a stranger. Yet even then it depends on my mood. So many factors reveal us for what our hearts really are and stress shows our true colors.

"I often read that "special children are only given to special parents" and "God doesn't give us more than we can handle". Everyone is of course entitled to their belief but personally I can't subscribe to either statement as both suggest that somewhere a deliberate decision is made to inflict disabilities on innocent children, an idea which I find untenable. The reality is that in most cases it happens purely by chance, often as the result of things such as a difficult birth, a tragic accident, a devastating illness, a flawed gene or even human error - and it can happen in any family at any time, not just to those deemed special or able to handle it. What I do believe, though, is that when faced with the prospect of raising a child with disabilities parents dig deep within themselves to find ways to cope and discover qualities and strength they never knew they possessed - and more often than not they succeed way beyond their expectations and become those "special" parents who are able to "handle" it."
 
So then overall, what is the best thing you can do for someone? If you know they are stressed out, depressed, angry, overwhelmed, etc. What is one of the best things you can do?

Many of us feel alone as it is. We know in our hearts that we are not yet, we are in a way. I think that changes people also. I know this journey has changed me. Some days for the better, some days for the worse. It is a part of who I am now. There is no going back, no matter what happens from here. Like most of us, we wouldn't change the blessings our special kiddos bring yet sometimes, there are some really dark days to face..... Those days are when we are most vulnerable, most likely to have something change us for the better or the worse. It is in our darkest days that we learn not just how strong we really are but how well we can stand alone. It is in the bitter cold of winter in our lives that we seek first the warmth from God, then our fellow man. Yet our greatest desires in that is to be understood and feel like it isn't us against the world. 

(Dad's too!) 


Darkness
By Carol Andrews
3-16-14

Sometimes the darkness in the battles of life can be so consuming and heavy. Sometimes the darkness is so dark that finding that glimmer of light is about impossible. Finding that single star in the night sky cloaked in darkness takes all night to find. Some nights it's not able to be found. Sometimes the battles and journeys of life leave us so ravaged, torn, abused, worn, hopeless..... Some days you go to bed at night defeated, the tears flowing like a river. The only hope you have is that you remember tomorrow is a new day. Yet when the journey feels like constant battles, sometimes you dread what tomorrow brings. You dread the medical bill in the mail knowing an insurance battle is ahead or worse. The knowledge and feelings in the budget balking at yet another trip for medical appointments/procedures yet you have no choice. The knowledge that some afford that with ease yet others struggle and are helpless to do anything about it. You dread a call from a doctor or the school. You know in your heart, you can't live like that yet some days, is impossible not to. Some days it's like it all hits at once and your wonder if your battle armor can take any more. You wonder how many more broken hallelujahs you can sing before your aching heart isn't so heavy. You sometimes wonder how much longer you can take your child sobbing in pain being helpless to do anything to take it away, being in the hospital yet one more day, more bad news from doctors, more guessing games as to what is really going on and why, another IEP meeting where all you hear is bad, etc. Sometimes you just wish you could throw your hands up and let the darkness overtake you. But you know too that you have to fight this fight. No other human will do it for you. You know you have to advocate, even if the Goliath ahead seems impossible to win against.


Want to know what really keeps us going? For me is the faith that someday there will be no more suffering or pain. It's the faith that all may abandon me but God never will. It's the faith that even when I'm mad at God and don't understand why, He still loves me and He has an ultimate plan. Even when I want to yell at Him, He still loves me. When my child can celebrate a day without pain, I rejoice in that, even if nobody else understands my joy. When I can watch my child reach out to others around her, even strangers and show them the light and joy within her that makes my day. When she tells me she hopes her unborn sibling doesn't have to deal with what she does it stabs your heart but then to see your child pray in faith about it, you know you did something right.... To see her compassion and love for other kids warms your heart. That is where I see the overcoming of the darkness.


Sometimes when the darkness of battle consumes us, that single flame of hope, that solitary star in the black sky, even the moon at night, is that slight glimmer of hope that the battles won't last forever. You see then that in reality, the light is more powerful then what the darkness is. the darkness is really dark and you get overwhelmed. Yet never forget that in reality, the light is stronger. God will overcome. Pain and suffering really won't last forever. Reality shows us that beauty can really come from ashes of pain. Even if we are the only ones to see it that way. We cry out to God to end the battles yet sometimes we see the beauty in the dawn of morning. The smoke from the rubble can bring about something better then what burned down. Sometimes we have to let it burn to see what rises above. God really can build better from the pain then what we see in the time we are in it. The hard part is getting to the other side of the darkness and enter the morning dawn alive. When you do, you know you are stronger for it. You know that more battles are ahead. More times of darkness will come but each battle won, gives you hope that you can win the next.

May you all make it through the nights of darkness to come out that next dawn knowing you are stronger and really not alone, even if you are the only one fighting.


Remember that.

Cheers!
~ Special Momma ~ 

My Perfect Child (A Poem) 

~ Author Unknown 

As my children were born, I wanted them
to be perfect. When they were babies, I
wanted them to smile and be content
playing with their toys. I wanted them to
be happy and to laugh continually instead
of crying and being demanding.
I wanted them to see the beautiful side
of life.

As they grew older, I wanted them to
be giving instead of selfish. I wanted
them to skip the terrible twos. I wanted
them to stay innocent forever.
As they became teenagers, I wanted
them to be obedient and not rebellious,
mannerly and not mouthy. I wanted them
to be full of love, gentle and kind-hearted.

"Oh, God, give me a child like this" was
often my prayer. One day he did. Some
call him handicapped... I call him Perfect!!

Solitude or ostracized?

Before I start this, I'm going to share why on a chilly morning I was walking my daughter to school. I'm glad for the over sized coat I have. It allows me to wrap my son up in my Moby and put my coat zipped up over him to keep both of us warm. It's not a long walk but it takes about 15 minutes one way. Not bad. We have been down to one car for a month now. It costs too much to fix hubby's car vs what the car is actually worth. Yet we are closing on a house soon so we can't replace his car yet. That's why the walking. 

Today walking home, I'm usually lost in thoughts most days. I was thinking about an approaching IEP meeting and how that might go after getting neuropsych results on my daughter. Shared in their blog. Shortly after heading home, I saw a girl sitting on a sidewalk away from everyone. She was a ways out from anyone else. Many other children were playing but this child was sitting there watching. Why? That was the first thought in my head. I couldn't help myself, as I was walking I kept looking at her. Watching and waiting to see if anyone would go by her. I did watch a boy walk past her with no thought. Was she sitting there in solitude just to watch or did she feel isolated and alone? Was she waiting on someone or just waiting for the class bell to ring just to get through another day? That I will never know. Yet I sit here still thinking about her.

Was she alone because she truly wanted to be? Was she at peace or was her heart in pain? Was she crying out for someone to bring her attention yet didn't say anything? Was she feeling like she is alone in this world walking without anyone through this journey called life? Those I will never know either. Yet just her sitting there stirred up my heart to write about it to whomever reads this. 




It also made me think of my own journey. How many times have I struggled with feeling like I was lost in a sea of faces? How many times have I felt myself sitting in a room, everyone talking around me yet I'm alone in my thoughts because it's as if I'm not there or I'm the elephant in the room? Of course nobody will come out and say it. It has to be swept under the rug. I have children who aren't typical kids. So be it. I'm s stay at home mom. So be it. I have no regrets of that. We don't have much of what many here have. So be it. Yet we all walk a journey. We don't know what anyone else has going on nor what today will bring. As I shared yesterday in here this quote, "I’m the invisible mom. You’ve seen me—the mom with the son with the visible disability. his is the part about inclusion that’s hard. Most days I breeze past, pretending I don’t care that I’m not standing with those neighborhood moms in their Lululemon outfits, baseball hats and ballerina flats. When I’m feeling vulnerable, I put my own hat on and charge past, willing myself not to look up lest my eyes fill with tears."
Was that how that child was feeling today? Yesterday? Every day? 

Why? 

Yet we don't know what the day will bring. A friend recently started her day out like any other day. Then tragedy struck. Yet a miracle happened. They have a long way to go in their journey but their journey changed. They will never be the same. Things happen in our lives that forever changed us. Going from single to married. Going from just the two of you to falling pregnant and having your child. Some though miscarriage/stillbirth others though perfect deliveries. Those change us. Hearing your child has a diagnosis changes you. You can recall dates like that. You know when surgeries were just as easily as you know when they were born. The day you hold your dying child after a long time of struggling and watch her pass before your very eyes is something never forgotten...... The day you go into an ultrasound expecting to hear a heartbeat and don't...... That's never forgotten. You never forget those storms.... Yet rainbows come from storms as well.

As I sit here nursing my son, my rainbow baby, I think of his journey ahead. He has no idea nor do I. I do know he will face hospitals, appointments and surgeries. I do know that his sister will be walking with him through it. She has been though this phase herself. Will that make their bond stronger? Both kids will have the same scans and appointments come March. Parallel journeys yet totally different.

My journey with my children will change as the years progress yet I hope to never stop learning. I pray that my wisdom and faith grows and that my tears are never in vain. 

The question is, will we all also slow down enough in our crazy lives to look around and see who needs a hand reached out to them or will we just walk past with no regard to them? Will we help others when they need it or just leave them alone because we don't want to deal with them and whatever they have going on? How long will those who feel isolated be isolated in this world? How long must they feel lost in the sea of faces before someone offers to walk a leg of the journey with them? How long will they cry out to be heard and understood? How many tears will fall that only God can count? How long will they stand alone with nobody else? 

It's up to you to make a difference.
Think about it. 

~ Special Momma ~ 


Lost
By : Carol Andrews
11-7-14

I could feel you within my heart
but the storms in the night pulled you away from me.
I called out your name but I can't speak above the thunder.
The rain is pouring out, beating upon my ravaged soul.
I reach for you but you aren't there.
I know you are out there but you are far away from me.
I can't feel you beside me now.
Where are you now?
Are you lost, or is it me?
Will I find you again?
I feel alone in the darkness without you.
I know I will see you again but when?
I can barely hear you with you so far.
Are you still in this storm or are you on shore?
If you are looking for me, leave your footprints on the midnight shore.
I may someday find you again.
Are you searching for me?
Can you see the storm tearing me apart at sea?
Will I ever find shore again?
As the night grows darker, the more blind I am.
In faith I step out toward my heart.
I am falling into despair.
The storm is drowning me to the eternal darkness.
To the place where eternal dreams are nightmares.
As I take my last breath I plea to you.
"Save me!" I whispered, as the darkness drowns me.
I look up and you are grasping the hand that is above my head.
I feel you pulling me up from the depths of hell.
I feel your strong grip as you shield me from the storm.
"Where were you Lord when I needed you?"
"I was there, you only had to call out to me."
 
Inspired from the song Hymn for the Missing by RED

Accepting differences

Ashley & Lennon Picco. I don't know if you have heard of them or read about them. Chris, the husband and father lost both within a few days.  Here is the video that went viral. It's things like that that make you think. Makes you know to be grateful for where you are and what you have no matter where it is. It should make everyone thankful for their loved ones, no matter what. It made me cry and hug my children more. It also did make me think of the miscarriage I had in 2013.

It also brings me to want to talk about how we accept differences. We judge a book by it's cover. Admit it. We look at others and judge them, good or bad. We all do it. You look at that young teenage girl and see she has all the popular trends and think she's spoiled or her parents are rich right? What you don't know is she got all of that herself working. You look at that mother out there who is always dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt with her hair all matted up and think she's lazy when in fact, she recently got back from an appointment with her child and is dealing with bad news. She won't be able to work for a while and she doesn't know how the budget will make it. Or you see a child with intellectual disabilities and assume that child has had something done to him to make that happen or the mother didn't take care of herself in her pregnancy. What you don't know is that he was born premature thanks to a placental abruption and had a brain bleed at birth where he wasn't expected to survive at all. 

So then why does society as a whole still judge? Why most of all do we blame the mom for the disabilities/medical issues a child has? I loved THIS article I read this morning on just that.  "We have less control over a myriad of things that can happen to a fetus than books like Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby—or Five Ways To Have a Healthy Baby tip sheets—would have us believe." And "Let's speak the truth about how much we don't know about the causes of childhood disability and, more importantly, how to prevent it. Let's tell the truth about how Healthy Mom can just as easily produce Unhealthy Baby, or Healthy Baby with a Disability (because disability is not necessarily synonymous with poor health!). Every mom wants what's best for her baby. In most cases when congenital problems are found, it's not because of something we "did.""

Is that why many moms like me all too often feel like an outcast? The elephant in the room that nobody wants to see or hear?

That same website had this post. "I’m the invisible mom. You’ve seen me—the mom with the son with the visible disability. his is the part about inclusion that’s hard. Most days I breeze past, pretending I don’t care that I’m not standing with those neighborhood moms in their Lululemon outfits, baseball hats and ballerina flats. When I’m feeling vulnerable, I put my own hat on and charge past, willing myself not to look up lest my eyes fill with tears."

She also shares, "I once heard the head of inclusive education for our school board give a presentation about building friendship opportunities for our children. “You parents of children with special needs need to make an extra effort,” she said smugly.
That comment infuriated me at the time and it infuriates me now. She told us to host "extra fun" parties at our house and invite children from the classroom. Her message was that we need to overcompensate for our kids, because they'll be excluded by parents of typical children." Now that's not fair is it? That is telling 'normal' kids that they don't have to reach out to others but to make the 'different' ones reach out. Judging much?

So what can we do about this??

The research tells us this:
“Adolescents who had social experiences with peers with severe disabilities perceived that as a result of these interactions:
• their self-concept improved;
• they grew in social cognition;
• they were more tolerant of others;
• fear of human differences was reduced;
• they developed personal principles; and
• they developed relaxed and accepting friendships.”
-Peck, Donaldson, and Pezzoli (1990)

But then why does it happen? Why do we teach our children to accept and befriend others yet so many adults make examples like this? "Do as I say not as I act" society? I think it's worse then that. My children have medical issues. They 'look different' then what society says is acceptable. I have heard the comments. They make me sad yet infuriate me at the same time. And guess what? It's not other kids who say those things most of the time. It's adults. Adults who should know better.

"A community who excludes one is not a community at all." But I think the biggest issue here is the attitude and stigmas that are still very rampant out there. Society says that those with disabilities no matter how severe, are not a use to society. I beg to differ. Those of us in Holland will be ready to tell you that the biggest lesson our children teach us isn't just acceptance but unconditional love. Because that is how they love. And that folks is what really matters. We will know we are all accepted by the love we give one another. Love is after all the universal language. And as long as we exclude even one person from our community, then how will others learn to accept?

I strongly encourage you to read Wonder by R.J Palacio. That will help give a perspective for those who don't know what Holland is. Yet as I'm reminded daily, Holland has incredible blessings, no matter what our children face. So choose kind and remember that beyond the face is a heart. Remember this the next time you or someone you know stares at someone who is 'different' or worse, judges with comments or actions. Remember, we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. God brought all of us here to learn something and to be something.

You never know what you do today will result in tomorrow.

Late Fragment
By Raymond Carver

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.


Cheers!
~ Special Momma ~

Just a stay at home mom?

It's amazing how many moms feel condemned for either working or staying at home. Society always says that if the woman doesn't work, she's lazy, making her man do all the work, old fashioned, etc. Really? What makes you say that? Is it because she isn't raking in the money? So in light of seeing the following pic on Facebook, here is what I have to say to that.

Let me give our story. I worked summer jobs starting when I was 14 and consistently since I was 16. I planned on going to college. I wanted to go with a music major and teach band just like my grandfather did. Things didn't happen that way. I did indeed go to college, though on student loans. I racked up debt but it was what it was. I did what I had to. I wound up with an associates degree in early childhood education. I was working at a daycare full time by this point. I also worked juvenile corrections then working at a shelter for foster kids.

Then my daughter was born. 

I then learned truly how much childcare would be for her. THEN figuring I had that planned out, BOOM! We got her first diagnosis. It was then I decided that being a stay at home mom was the best course. Seven and a half years later and I still am one. And I now have my son here as well. "Why don't you go back to work already?" I have been asked in the past. Well first of all, that's the decision of my husband and I. For two, yeah sometimes I wish I could.
I will share why I wish I could first. First of all, sometimes I would like out of the house too. Think I get to do whatever I want when I want? I wish!! I wish sometimes that I was bringing in money as well. It would loosen up the budget by a lot if I was and maybe then, just maybe I could go out and do what most people I know in this area can do. I can have real date nights with my husband, I could if ever invited, go out with some girls and have lunch or whatever like that. I could participate in PTO stuff the school does and I could get my kids what they really want for Christmas. I could also once a year do a real vacation. Those don't happen though. So yeah, sometimes I really do wish I worked. But for what? Simply for money? Simply for feeling "worthy" because I work? Simply because society says I have to?

You know what though? As much as I struggle sometimes not wanting what others have, the friends others have or being able to do what they can, here is what makes it all worth it.

Besides, someone has to do all of the appointments and advocating for the kids. lol

And that people, is more then a full time job by itself. And I'm blessed for it.

Besides, isn't it more important to make an impact for others instead of seeing what stuff you can do and get for others? Though making the estimated 140,000 a year would be really nice. However, I get paid a different way. And besides, being paid like that we would lose the secondary insurance the kids have and we would really be in trouble then.... Not to mention all of the taxes owed.... But that's a whole different topic for another day.  


"Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal."Matthew 6:20



So there you have it.
~ Special Momma ~

Welcome to our place in Holland

Starting a new blog is like the birth of a child. You don't know what the future holds. Doctors may tell you what to expect but in reality, you are going in blind. The purpose in this blog is to share our journey. More so, my thoughts about the journey and to share what our life is. I keep it real. I don't sugarcoat. Yet I will share the blessings and curses that come with it. I will often share thoughts that come to mind. Little stories, parables etc. that pop into my head. I am keeping the Caringbridge page for my children as that tells their story. Often the two pages will parallel each other.

My children are on a journey and it is because of that, we are walking right along side it. I have no regrets in that. Their journey has brought incredible blessings yet it has also brought heartache.

So, come join me into our life, into my mind and be prepared for the ride.

As we ride out the storms and the deserts in life, may we also find the oasis and rainbows. And welcome to our Holland. :)

God Bless!

~ Special Momma ~